A not so perfect Hospital Trip
by Rufus J ShinRa1
Summary: Yay! As requested here's the fourth story in the series. Cloud,Rufus,Sephiroth and Hojo are put in the hospital after catching a virus. Can they survive thier evil doctor? And...Cloud and Tifa's child's babysitter is.....Cid???


  
  
  
A not so perfect sick day.  
  
[Shinra HQ]  
  
  
  
Rufus: Well I guess that concludes our meeting. Now if you'll excuse me I have to play cards with Sephiroth and Hojo.  
  
Palmer: Mr. President! Mr. President!  
  
Rufus: Palmer this better not be about why we have a dounut shortage cause I don't give a crap.  
  
Palmer: [Lowers his hand]  
  
Rufus: Bye.  
  
[Rufus leaves]  
  
Heiddeger: Let's play tetherball.  
  
Shinra Executives: YEAH!!!!!!  
  
  
[North cave]  
  
Sephiroth: [opens up a package] At last! My very own copy of the first Telletubbies tape.  
  
Fanfic readers: .............  
  
Rufus: What the hell? Sephiroth what the hell happened to you?   
  
Sephiroth: Aeris told me I was too violent so....  
  
Rufus: Stop seeing Aeris.  
  
Sephiroth: No.  
  
Rufus: C'mon it's for your own good.  
  
Sephiroth: Bite me.   
  
Rufus: Grrr.....anyway wanna go see Reno he's a little sick.  
  
  
[Hospital]  
  
Reno: [Coughs] Stupid Kain. Those FF4 charachters have bad diseases.....  
  
Elena: Just drink your medicine. [Crams a whole bottle of Pepto-bismal down Reno's throat.]  
  
Reno: Ugh....this stuff tastes like.......old people.  
  
Rude: Hey Reno you have some visitors!  
  
Sephiroth: [Gives Reno a fruit basket]  
  
Rufus: [Hands Reno a get well soon card]  
  
Reno: Thanks guy's is anyone else here?  
  
Rufus: Yeah. [The door busts down and every person in every Final Fantasy game is there]  
  
Ex-Death: I heard you were sick. I rushed over a soon as possible.  
  
Cecil: Oh thank god Reno's okay......  
  
Elena: Just a sec. He need's the thermometer.....in the you know where....  
  
Reno: NO OH GOD!!!!!!!!!! HELP!!!!!!!  
  
  
  
  
[Cloud&Tifa's villa]  
  
Tifa: [Holding thier son Zack from the last story] Cloud you don't look so good.  
  
Cloud: [Coughs] I'm fine.  
  
Tifa: I'll go get the doctor....  
  
Cloud: No don't leave!!!!  
  
Tifa: I'll have Cid look after Zack.  
  
Cloud: Good. Now he can learn some new words....  
  
Tifa: What?  
  
Cloud: [Looks up] NOTHING!   
  
Tifa: [Gives a suspicous glance and carries Zack out of the house]  
  
  
[Cid's house]  
  
  
Tifa: Now he need's his vitamins,his....  
  
Cid: Yeah,yeah I know how to take care of kids.  
  
Tifa: all right. Bye. [Leaves]  
  
Cid: Say hi to uncy Cid Zack Strife. [Zack bites Cid on the nose and Cid runs around screaming]  
  
Shera: Captain?  
  
Cid: &&^*%$^&$*& LITTLE KID!!!! STUPID PIECE OF S*IT BRAT!!!!  
  
Shera: Oh Cloud and Tifa's baby,how cute. [she holds Zack and Zack dosen't harm her]  
  
Cid: What the hell? He's being nice to you!  
  
Shera: Maybe he just likes me more.  
  
Cid: [Put's a bandaid on his nose]  
  
  
  
[Hospital]  
  
  
Cloud: Reno? You got the disease too?  
  
Reno: Yeah:  
  
Voice: We got it too.....  
  
Cloud: Rufus,Sephiroth and Hojo?  
  
Hojo: Stupid Kain. He ate one of those McDOnalds hamburgers.  
  
Rufus: Yeah.....We told him not to eat the burger with the green spots BUT NO........  
  
Sephiroth: [Is reading a RPG order catalog in bed] Damn if I weren't sick I'd BUY that emerald WEAPON look alike....  
  
Aeris: [Holding a flower basket] Hi Sephy....  
  
Sephiroth: [Turns scarlet] Hi....Aeris. [Aeris kisses Sephiroth on the head and Sephiroth nearly faints]  
  
Yuffie: Hi Reno!  
  
Reno: Yuffie.....[Blushes]  
  
Hojo: What about me? [Lucretia comes in] Hi honey! [Lucretia whacks Hojo on the head with a wooden chair] OW!!!!!  
  
Lucretia: Asshole. [Walks out]  
  
Cloud: Looks painful....  
  
Voice: Dr. Kefka to see the sick patients.  
  
All: Dr.KEFKA????  
  
Kefka: Wahahahahhahahahahaha I'm back. And I got a medical degree!  
  
Sephiroth: Oh no......  
  
Kefka: [Looks at Sephiroth] You can be the first one to get this horrfying painful shot in thier buttcheeks. Bend over.  
  
Sephiroth: Make me.  
  
Kefka: [Starts singing]  
  
Sephiroth: STOP! I'LL DO IT!!!!!  
  
  
  
  
[Cloud&Tifa's villa]  
  
Tifa: I'm going to go visit Cloud.....[Sephiroth's scream is heard in the background] Damn Birds.........  
  
  
  
  
[Hospital]  
  
Kefka: Now my pretties we're going to test you reflexes with the Doctor's Hammer.  
  
Cloud: That dosen't sound so painful....  
  
Kefka: [Picks up sledge hammer] Oh it dosen't?  
  
Cloud: Good God!!!!  
  
Tifa: Hi honey. Hello doctor....Kefka.  
  
Kefka: Hi I just need to check your husbands reflexes.  
  
Aeris: Go and do it to Sephiroth too doctor.  
  
Cloud: Tifa help....  
  
Tifa: The doctor knows what's best dear. Even if he is the main villan of FF6 and he poisioned a whole village.  
  
Kefka: [Picks up a cup of water what is purple and bubbling] Wanna sip Hojo?  
  
Hojo: NO!  
  
Kefka: [Slams the Sledgehammer on Cloud's leg] Wahahhahahahahahaha marvolus PAIN!  
  
Cloud: Ow.....  
  
Nurse: Hey this man is no doctor!  
  
Reno: I can see that!  
  
Surgon: GET HIM!  
  
Kefka: Bolt3! [Lightning hits the doctors]  
  
Tifa: [Kicks Kefka in the nut's]  
  
Kefka: OWIE!!!!!!  
  
  
  
[Cid's house]  
  
  
Cid: [Is on crutches and a full body cast]  
  
Shera: Goochie Goochie goo. [Zack laughs]  
  
Cid: Stupid kid......  
  
[Hospital]  
  
  
[Reno Cloud and the others are cured with Kefka in a hospital bed]  
  
Reno: Okay how did you come back this time?  
  
Kefka: I'll never tell. CURE3! [Kefka is cured and leaps up]  
  
Locke: Stop Kefka.  
  
Seifer: Yeah surrender.  
  
Kefka grrrrr....... I can take you all down.  
  
Cecil: But not me.....  
  
Terra: Or me....   
  
Ex-Death: Or me.....  
  
Kefka: Oh yeah! I got Pepto-Bismal and I know how to use it!!!!!  
  
[Everyone gasps]  
  
Yuffie: N-not pepto-bismal  
  
Ex-Death: It tastes like crap and it just makes you feel worse.....  
  
Kefka: Wahahahahhahahahahahhhahhahahaha.......  
  
Heiddeger: Gyahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! [Author boots him to another fanfic]  
  
Kefka: Now what was I going to do.......Ah yes kill you!  
  
  
[5 minuites later]  
  
  
[Everyone is tied up over a huge vat of Pepto-Bismal]  
  
  
  
Kefka: Once I pull the switch......  
  
Cid: [Bursts in] DAMN KID!!!  
  
[Zack bites onto Kefka's arm and clings there]  
  
Cloud: [Sniffs] That's my boy......  
  
Kefka: Ow get it off! Get it off!!! Not down there! [Zack bites Kefka in the special spot] OW!!!!!  
  
Tifa: Sorry he just got his teeth and he's still teething.  
  
Kefka: Ow! OW! OW!!!!!!! [Falls out the window]  
  
Cloud: Is he gone for sure?  
  
[Kefka arises on a broomstick]  
  
Kefka: [Writes: Surrender Cloud while on the broomstick] Wahahahhahahahahahaha [A plane hit's him] Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!  
  
  
Tifa: What a weird ending.  
  
Zack: Gah...gah....  
  
Cloud: He's going to say his first word......  
  
Zack: Fu,Fu,Fu-  
  
  
[Outside the hospital]  
  
  
[A bunch of Pidegeons fly off the roof]  
  
Janitor: Wow weeeee WHAT PROFANITY!  
  
  
  
[Hospital]  
  
[Everyone looks at Cid]  
  
  
Cid: There is no evidince I taught him that word! [Bangs his foot on the bed] OW SH*T! THAT %&*% HURT STUPID *&(%*%&%&*$*$ I AUGHTTA ^&%(&&%*&%&%^%$^%#%%^&$*&$&&$^$$$^##$ YOU UP!  
  
Cloud: That's our silly Cid! [Everyone laughs]  
  
Sephiroth: Hahhahahhahahahahahha......I don't get it.  
  
Aeris: C'mon Sephy let's go home and.....heeeeheeeeheeee  
  
Sephiroth: YES!  
  
Elena: Hey Rufus how about we.....make a little lovin?  
  
Rufus: HORRAY!  
  
Tifa: Cloud you know the routine!  
  
[Yuffie is already dragging Reno out the door]  
  
Hojo: No lovin for porfesser Hojo?  
  
[Lucretia comes in with a chainsaw]  
  
Hojo: AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!  
  
  
THE END  
  
HOPE YOU LIKED IT! IF YOU ASK FOR MORE YOU WILL GET MORE  
  
  
[Epilouge]  
  
  
Kefka: Where...am I......  
  
Voice: Hello old friend...  
  
Kefka: V-Vormav and Izlude.  
  
Izlude: Daddy! He's the one who bewat me up!!!  
  
Vormav: Oh Saint Ajora smite this one....[Ultima the Perfect body comes down and beats the living crap out of Kefka]  
  
Kefka: Not the face! Not the Face! Want Pepto-bismal? [Get's hit harder] OWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
